The last sentence of Hebrew 12:1 reads: Let us run with perseverance the race marked before us..
"My legs are going to be so sore I won't be able to practice today!"
"Where in the heck am I even at?"
"Just stop for a little bit then you can go again"
One morning at 6 a.m. in the summer of 2013 these were thoughts going through my head, and trust me they were LOUD.
I was in the middle of a long run, not exactly sure where I was, and getting lapped by a 45 year old bald guy that's 6 inches shorter than me. This was a typical scene during my summer mornings from my freshman to junior year in college. Every summer I worked at a golf course in Newton, IA doing a little bit of everything: pro-shop work, course maintenance, bar-tending, etc. During those summers I was mentored(best term I can think of) by a pro from the area. I helped run junior camps, got involved with lessons, and just really learned a lot. Some of you who read this probably already know who I'm talking about from my previous description. Anyhow, this mentor of mine always organized a workout for myself and other high school varsity level golfers in the area and they would start at 6 a.m. usually three or four days a week. Please, do not envision a bunch of nerdy golf kids in a gym tossing around some weights and being dressed really nice because that's definitely not what these workouts were about. It was a common scene for us to be running up and down hills with medicine balls above our heads, doing pull-ups or planks at the elementary school playgrounds, sprinting and long jumping at the high school track, or running through knee high wet fescue around the golf course. Do you think this is excessive for golf? I don't.
During this particular morning, we were given a brief description of what we were doing before it started. Usually we would all just show up, loosen up, and follow. No real structure just go as hard as you can as long as you can and KEEP GOING. (Now that I think about it I'm pretty sure he didn't even know what the workouts were going to look like before they started!) The day's workout was going to be the long run, or endurance testing. 11 miles stopping only three times to do a set of planks or pushups and not a second wasted during the stops. For an average person, I would consider that pretty tough. I generally enjoy running but I hadn't ever run that far, and if I did I wouldn't have gone at the pace we did. Keep in mind though I had no idea what we were doing or where we were going when it started. This is generally how his comments to us would sound, and the thought that would come into my head after the comment..
Mile 1: "Keep going!" Me - Feeling great I'm going to win today
Mile 2: "Keep going!" Me - I'm going to catch him today
Mile 3: "Keep going!" Me - Ok, not gaining ground just keep your pace
Mile 4: "Keep going!" Me - Sh#* he is pulling away
Mile 5: "Keep going!" Me - This sucks just try and finish
Mile 6: "Keep going!" Me - Where am I even at
Mile 7: (turns around to make sure I'm not lost)"Keep going!" Me - Dang he is making me look bad
Mile 8: "Keep going!" Me - Ok Matthew just keep going
Mile 9: "Keep going!" Me -Keep your knees up and keep going
Mile 10:"keep going!" Me- Alright we are getting close let's keep going
Mile 11:"Last mile Keep going!" Me - You've got a little left in the tank hammer it out!
It's taken me a few years to realize what those workouts and what struggle really does for a person. For me, not only did these workouts train my body, they trained me in listening to the right voice. There is always two sets of voices I battle with when going through something hard. One is very loud and always speaks against the challenge, usually seeking out an easier option. The other voice though, the one that is usually quiet, brings thoughts of belief.
WE HAVE A CHOICE WHICH VOICE TO LISTEN TOO.
I feel like I've learned a very important lesson this summer and it stems from this very thought.
For a long time I've battled with the idea of shooting very low scores consistently. The idea of "taking it deep" or going "scuba" always seemed to be hard to me. I don't mean that I never shot a low golf score, I mean that I just was not very comfortable while doing it compared to some of my peers. When the conditions got tough however, I loved it. It always seemed my chances for success were much better when course conditions, weather conditions, or just the tournament in general was a tough challenge.
During my sophomore year of college I did everything I could to solve this problem, as I wanted to shoot a "deep" score desperately. I searched out every well know psychologist book I could find and put more notes and time into that than I ever did with a college text book. I met with our schools sports psychologist professor every week to figure out how I could be better at this. I relentlessly studied the interviews and press conferences of PGA Tour winners after they had won to see if there was anything I could pick out to help. What did I get? 4 more years of not being able to consistently turn a birdie, birdie, birdie start into a 64. 4 more years of ripping myself apart for not being able to close out a great round. Every single time I had the chance to post a really great number the whole back nine I would be battling with those voices inside my head about how this was finally it, or I could finally post a number that would "wow" everyone.
Well, after 4 years of research and struggle, I found what works...
In the past 4 weeks, I've made more birdies than I've ever made in my life with this phrase going through my head whenever I start to feel like things are going my way. I know that might sound crazy that I would battle with having success, but I'm being honest with you. In 100% honesty, when I remind myself to keep going all that loud noise from the wrong voice seems to go away. Here is what some of that noise sounds like:
"Dude take it scuba this week!"
"If you post this can you imagine what you'll be able to do!"
"Big money to the guy who can finish top 5 this week"
"Did you see what ______ shot yesterday!"
When the noise gets loud: keep going.
When you bogey the first: keep going.
When you birdie 1,2,&3 : keep going.
When money gets tight: keep going.
When success comes : keep going.
Am I saying that I've figured out the magic formula to always shoot a low score? Heck no. I realize how hard golf is, how fleeting success is, and how hard you have to work at this game. I'm saying I know why I wasn't able to close consistently. I used to always be thinking about what it would mean to everybody else or what opportunity a great round might bring. Now, I just choose to listen to the right voice. I'm going to see where it takes me, so far it's been amazing.
I will keep going, I hope you will too.
Thanks for following!
God bless
