Freedom In The Chaos

What's your status?

Where have you been playing?

Where is Henderson State?

Somewhere on the front nine of almost every tournament round I play, one of these three questions is thrown into the conversation. I'm always quick to answer, but lately I've been thinking about some of these conversations and have grown to understand something about them.

If you're involved in tournament golf, or anything competitive, I'm sure you've experienced something similar. What I'm referring to is the moment when people evaluate each other and "size somebody up". 

Take a step into a competitive golf practice round, especially a professional one at the "mini-tour" level and you'll see plenty of what I'm talking about. Under the calm exterior of a professional golfer in these times is often what I would call chaos. Constant comparison to others, questions about belonging, and feelings of insecurity often run through your mind, and I'm no stranger to them. 

I'd like to share with you my opinion about these moments, and what I've found to give me freedom in the chaos.

I'm writing this after just finishing a qualifying tournament for the Candian Tour. If you didn't know me, you could have picked me out pretty quickly with a couple clues. Look for the kid with no caddy, a squeaky push cart, and a ping bag so worn out you would wonder if he bought it in the 90's. Many of my competitors have club sponsorships, and much more experience than me, so it is sometimes easy for me to fall into the trap of inadequacy and comparison.

During my warm-up for the first round I found myself more nervous than normal, simply by checking out my surroundings. All I was doing was evaluating myself against other people, and it was showing up in my ball flight. Hook, slice, chunk, thin, we're all on display for any wandering eyes. Tin Cup would have said, "My swing feels like and unfolding lawn chair!" To keep it in context, there was chaos going on in my head. 

I walked to the first tee that morning not exactly feeling confident about where my golf ball would fly. As I was given my scorecard by the starter and introduced myself to the players in my group, there was still plenty of "chaos" still floating through my mind. 

As I was waiting for my introduction to hit my tee shot, I took a moment to remind myself that I was standing on that tee box for a reason.  I knew God had placed the people and situation perfectly into my life for me to be able to play in that golf tournament. It wound up being close to my house, it fell in a week I was able to take off work, and I even had someone want to help pay for the tournament right when I had been feeling some financial stress. Needless to say I had no doubt God was at work for me to be standing on that tee box. Simply reminding myself of that, plus the fact that my real "status" has already been secured allowed the chaos to leave my mind and the tension to flow out of my body. Not surprisingly, I made a free swing and sent the ball right down my target line and into the middle of the first fairway, a far cry from what just happened 5 minutes prior on the driving range. 

Whatever situations we are in during chaotic times in life, we can free ourselves from them by remembering what really matters. Gods love is the only thing that really matters in life, and constantly comparing yourself against other people is not believing in that love. You are exactly where you need to be, grow yourself and grow your faith. 

Thanks for following and God bless!! I'll be spending some time in Canada this summer! :)